Thoughts When Working From Home

“I want to quit my job, but I’m not sure my wife will think that ‘They make us leave our cameras on during Zoom calls!’ is a strong enough grievance.”

“Do my coworkers hate me or have I just been conditioned to take it as a sign of aggression when someone ends a Slack message with a period and no emojis?”

“I wonder if the company put software on my computer that tracks my every move. I better wiggle the mouse and click around a bit to make sure they know I’m still here and working.”

“My boss probably thinks I do very little most of the day because they can’t physically check on me every 4 minutes… I actually do very little most of the day because I don’t have much work to do at the moment—and I am in a constant state of stress because of it.”

“Someone should tell Claire that even though she blurs the background on Zoom, we can still see her husband wandering around half-dressed and out of focus like some sort of underachieving bigfoot.”

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