“I want to quit my job, but I’m not sure my wife will think that ‘They make us leave our cameras on during Zoom calls!’ is a strong enough grievance.”

“Do my coworkers hate me or have I just been conditioned to take it as a sign of aggression when someone ends a Slack message with a period and no emojis?”

“I wonder if the company put software on my computer that tracks my every move. I better wiggle the mouse and click around a bit to make sure they know I’m still here and working.”

“My boss probably thinks I do very little most of the day because they can’t physically check on me every 4 minutes… I actually do very little most of the day because I don’t have much work to do at the moment—and I am in a constant state of stress because of it.”

“Someone should tell Claire that even though she blurs the background on Zoom, we can still see her husband wandering around half-dressed and out of focus like some sort of underachieving bigfoot.”